AOA Season 5 Ep 18
Molly: Hello and welcome to a podcast about creating experimental art in trauma-informed and sustainable ways that support artists, our communities and the organization as a whole. I'm your host, Molly, and you're listening to Any Other Anythings.
In this season, we are focused on the latest project being produced by Grey Box Collective. It is titled Positive Ruminations. So this is an event that will feature four new works and each episode of this season of Any Other Anythings will feature conversations from the creative teams developing the new work, and we are really focusing on capturing the process and sharing out the things we find interesting along the way. Hope that you enjoy the season of Any Other Anythings.
Hey, all. Welcome to the last episode, at least for this round, of Any Other Anythings, capturing the journey of Positive Ruminations. Like, what a journey on so many different levels. I am recording this, where are we at? We're at November 10th, 2024. As you're listening, you can put the context of, of this in time and space and I've been thinking about like how, how do I wrap this journey?
Yeah, how do I wrap this journey? And we always end our rehearsals with the question, how you doing? What are you thinking about? So I'll start with that. How am I doing? Freaking fabulous. I am, I don't think I have been this relaxed and simultaneously excited about a production in a while. It feels I, I have no idea if I've talked about this on, on the podcast, but I talked about it in like our info sessions and the kickoff events about every season, more recently, I've been thinking about like, what's the theme, what's the word?
And the word for season nine, which is what we are in of Grey Box Collective, the word was returning. And having gone through all of COVID. We were really gaining traction when COVID hit and, it really wiped things out. And it took a while to move through that and allow that evolution to take place naturally. And then for those of you that don't know, we are based in Arizona and at a state level there are significant budget cuts. Yeah, it's, it's been, it's been a lot outside of just simply the creative process and this feels like the first time we've been able to return to developing new work in the way that we typically have in the way that we were originally setting up to at the very beginning of this journey which was to start with these little projects just to figure out like, is this even something we want to spend time energy funding all of our resources on? Is it worth investing beyond this? Is this a conversation people want to have? Is this a topic that creative humans want to even be making work about? Like all those things before we invest all of our time and energy into it.
And so being able to develop these phase one projects feels like that returning and it's a returning with like so much wisdom it feels like. So there's a lot that I'm unpacking there and I'll, I'll lean a little bit more into my creative producer hat in a moment with that. But that's one big thing I'm thinking about is like the phase one development of these pieces.
I'm thinking about the pieces themselves and how they have taken shape. You may have heard me talk about how in our creative process, I, I consider myself someone who like, I'll plant a seed and be like, hey, we're going to plant this seed. And it's called Finger Painting [for grown-ups]. And who wants to help make the seed grow?
Who wants to tend to the seed? And that's like our creative process. I'll be planting the seed, but then see who else joins in the care cultivating an environment that can allow that seed to really blossom. And I don't know enough about gardening to really explain that metaphor any more than that, but hopefully that's like the basics of how stuff grows. But like, how are we coming together around this one seedling and really supporting it to see if, if it's going to flourish in this environment? And I also think of them like demo tapes, right? Of like, it's not the whole orchestra, it's not the whole band, it's like, we've got a guitar, we've got a human.
We might have some other stuff and that's it. So it's like the acoustic stripped down version of what these shows might be. And yeah, it's been a while since that's how we've made work. Cause during COVID we, we really abandoned this process. Or during the lockdown and digital creation and physical distancing. So we have not created work in this way since season three or four. So yeah, I am feeling a sense of resolve. I think on a couple different levels that there is that returning to, to a structure and to the values, the like kind of centered mission, vision of Grey Box Collective, but that's exciting.
And I'm just, I'm excited for these pieces and how they have evolved, right? So going back to the tending to the seeds I, I think like the last time I like had a vision for a piece of art or performance or whatever, and then like made it happen. I it's been well over a decade since I've made work in that way of like trying to get a vision in my head out into the world.
It's just not how I function as a, as a creative, as an artist. And so to see where these pieces ended up, like I would not have guessed any of them, which is the whole point of this process. And I, I'm very excited to share them with, with audiences. And with these four pieces, so we ended with EMP_T_Y, Finger Painting [for grown-ups],PAUSE…, and Solastalgia as the four pieces for this this iteration under the theme of Positive Ruminations.
And I don't think it was until our second work in progress showing, so approximately two weeks ago, where I was really able to start to see how these pieces fed each other and how these pieces supported each other and some of the themes that emerged from, from all of them, right? Like, I think there is definitely the crossover but it started with, I'm going to talk a little bit about some of the props that I hope aren't spoiler alerts.
I don't think, I think it's stuff that like you will get curious about and want to see the show and not something that's like a spoiler. But it started with the overhead projector old school style that if you are of a certain vintage, you remember your math teacher with all the damn clear sheets and like the spit to like fix all of the math equations that they were doing.
The overhead projector was the first, like old school piece of equipment that we were working with and it really made sense in Solastalgia that we are bringing in some old school kind of nostalgic type of equipment to, to bring forth that, that nostalgia that's part of the show, right?
A part of the nostalgia that's part of Solastalgia. There you go. And that's where it started. And then. I can't remember exactly how all this unfolded, but I think it was maybe somewhere in an empty, early on, acknowledging how we're inundated with media and all of that comes through television, that comes through our phones, all that comes in like our inbox, right?
Like all the technology that becomes these pathways to, to eventually burn us out on empathy and compassion. Yet in that piece, we don't use any technology in that way, per se. You don't see the technology. You hear it, but you do not see it. And so that was also something curious. And at one point in that piece, we had like the old school phones were -you have like the string connecting two different cups. I don't know if those are old school phones per se, like there is that kind of thing that made you think of something in the past. And then there's PAUSE…, which has like, just, it's, it's just this like, I don't know if my microphone is going to pick up that sound.
Just this like quiet, this vastness in the sound of it. That kind of is like that bare bones, right? Like there is no technology, there is no, no fancy stuff to add to it. It's just movement and fabric on stage. And when we first developed PAUSE… in 2021. That was one of the conversations that I had with the costume designer on that piece about how when you're going through grief, like there is this kind of stripping away of nothing else really matters.
And only doing what we absolutely have to do. And I feel like that's what PAUSE… is. It's just what we have to do. And it's, it's just moving a little bit of vocalization, dealing with some material in the space and like, that's it. So again, like, there's this old school, there's no media, there's no tech in that piece.
And then it wasn't until this past week that it felt that Finger Painting [for grown-ups] also needed that. Because there's something old school about Finger Painting [for grown-ups] thinking of youth, thinking of childhood, thinking of the evolution of, of ourselves from, from childhood to adulthood.
And old school cassette tapes a tape player. It's like some of our older equipment is being used in that piece. And so yeah, there's just this like older reference. There's something about it, though, that it feels like that's part of the ruminating, part of the Positive Ruminations is using how we can remember when it felt like our priorities in childhood were, around connection and play and joy and remembering like that is something worth still connecting with and still bringing forward and remembering the times before we were inundated with the news in this way. And like that news was still happening, but we had different boundaries around it.
So I think there's some like remembering that is a part of this in terms of the content of the work that we are creating or that we have created at this point. And so that's one of the themes. And I've been thinking a lot about the show order and just like the wave that audience will ride.
And I really enjoy the order of this show and how we start and how we slowly build and eventually reach a point that I think is really satisfying. And I think a lot of that is going to happen through the sound and the space. Some of it being more like sound design. Some of it being the sound that happens naturally in the space.
So yeah, then thinking about the arc of the whole show. There's also been a remembering that has happened for me, right? Not just in terms of what Grey Box is and what we've done. But remembering the mission, the vision, the purpose, the why, the motivation, all of that. Yeah. There's been something in this process where it was coming back into my role within the company as well.
Which I did not anticipate. But I think there's still probably a lot for me to unpack there and I'm not going to use this platform as a time to do that. But I, I think that's also a theme. And one thing I noticed, especially in this last third of the rehearsal process was I don't know, remembering, like, what makes a Grey Box show a Grey Box show?
What makes these spaces different? What, not just, like, in the creative process, but in the moment an audience member walks into that space. The experience that they have what makes it different? And remembering that, and I think I had to reach a point witnessing the process evolve, where it was like, oh, I can finally see The shape that all four of these pieces are taking because of the different collaborators that have joined to tend to the seedlings of pieces.
And then it felt like we could finally shape the whole evening moving forward. And that was another thing, and I, this is something that I think I've talked about before, and we've talked about in rehearsals, especially those who've gone through this process multiple times. There's something in this, like, Trauma-Informed creative practices journey where you gotta trust the process and you gotta remember you, you gotta trust the process and then it like surprises me every time like, oh shit, it actually worked again.
And I, I go through doubts every time of, of questioning why I'm doing this like full existential crisis, every single production, every single project of varying degrees, I guess is how to say it. But it happened once again. It was like, I feel very lost in the process. I felt like as someone in a leader facilitator type of role, I was not sure the direction that things were going.
I was not confident in the, I'm going to say success for the lack of another way to say it right now. Yeah, I just wasn't feeling that. And then all of a sudden about that final third, and it's always the final freaking third where it's like, oh, no, this is it. This, it just emerges. You just have to like trim all the fat off.
And we talked about that in, in Solastalgia's last one. That editing process works like a charm every time to suddenly allow the thing to like burst forward. And so that was just another, another thing to remember, I think.
I also just wanted to acknowledge I feel like there's been a push lately particularly in the theater world or any kind of event space world of having these like relaxed hours, quote unquote, which are great. I support them. Please don't take it that I'm, I'm against these.
But I'm just wondering, like, why are we not always doing relaxed shows, right? Like, why, why are we having stressed shows? That seems silly. Because I think all of our shows are actually relaxed shows. I don't, like, the entrepreneurial side of me is like, why would I quit stressful jobs and then just recreate a stressful environment for myself?
No. I like to think of our, our productions as pretty relaxed shows sensory sensitive. And, yeah, I just wanted to name that. And I guess also like pose the question to other people in arts leadership positions like why aren't there always just relax shows, especially if we're in control and have the power in our companies to make those choices.
I think all shows should be relaxed. So anyways, that's just my like little soapbox about that.
I am also thinking about astrology with all of this, of course okay, wait, I'm thinking about astrology. I'm thinking about like astrology as in like the systems around us, right? Astrology being systems of the planets and then the systems that we exist within beyond just the planets, right?
And as I have said from the very beginning of announcing this, that we were aware being cognizant of the fact that this piece Positive Ruminations, the premier event in November, would be taking place 10 days after the election in the U. S. And so we did not know what the world would be.
And you may have heard me talk about this on social media and maybe I'll release those actually, maybe like a bonus episode or something about like, this is, this is meeting the moment. And when I say the moment, I don't just mean like, a day, a single second in time. Like this moment that is going to be ongoing in, in our history and the topics that we're talking about and the conversations that we hope to spark, like, to me, it's exactly what, what we should be talking about right now. And I'm also aware that I am talking about things slightly differently, even with the outcome of the election and moving forward and thinking about potential ramifications or red flags around the language that we use in our shows and all that kind of stuff.
So thinking about right there, those systems that are impacting the work that we're creating and how the work that we're creating is reflecting those moments too. But also just thinking of the systems astrology wise and in season four of Any Other Anythings, I talk more openly about how the astrology in the world, but also like my personal astrology has definitely tied in with gray boxes Journey and how I think it was March of this year.
So March 2024 is we had a performance on a full moon and I can't remember exactly what all the full moon was about or like what side it was in or all the details, but I remember it very much reflecting what the work was we were doing. Doing that evening and November 15th is another full moon. And I do actually try to schedule performances near either a full or new moon intentionally, so I try not to be in the in between, and so we've got a full moon on Friday when we premiere and also into the weekend on Saturday.
And again, there's an alignment happening. I'll also name like where Pluto is transitioning right now. There's like an echo back to 2008 and 2008 is when I started doing Trauma-Informed creative practices. I didn't call it that back in 2008, but the earliest moment in my professional work history where I can say, like, Grey Box Collective technically first started to take shape and Trauma-Informed creative practices first started to take shape was in 2007, 2008. And so there's an echo from that 2008 to now November 2024, which I feel in this like returning to how Graybox was originally supposed to be making work.
And there's also going to be a ripple of this time all the way into April, which I haven't announced this formally yet at the time of this podcast recording, but we will have encore performances of Positive Ruminations up until April of 2025. Yeah, so this full moon, which is supposed to be very like loud and disruptive and full of positive change or focus on positive change feels connected to Positive Ruminations and the work that we're doing and producing.
It's ruled by Venus, which is the planet of like love and beauty and art and justice and social cohesion and also connected to women, fems, LGBTQIA folks. Like, all of that to me just feels very Grey Box-y. The full moon this week talks about needing to be innovative and really practical ways and being experimental.
And being experimental is our thing. And even in our conversations, that's one of the frameworks that we've brought in is like, how can we be even experimental and like how we're human-ing and the art of peopling and creating work and being in relationship in a collaborative process together.
And full moons often are talked about as releases. So that's one reason I like to put work out into the world around a full moon. And an apex moment or like a peak, a culminating energy, which as I said, feels like it's there in a couple different ways.
And talking about boundaries and structures and accountability and responsibility and this kind of moment of tension or push pull dynamic between the stabilizing energy with some instability.
And to me, like, that's where we get to spark conversations, right? Like, the spark comes from some kind of friction, some kind of tension, some kind of something something, right? So it just feels like this swirling of energy that is exactly the kind of energy that I want to have around a release like this.
So yeah, that's what I'm thinking about. That's all over the place. I'm very excited for this this production to be released to be premiered. I am excited for the encore performances that I will be announcing shortly. I'm excited for other things that I will be announcing over the weekend regarding the future of Grey Box and yeah that culminating energy feels very loud.
And that was one of the things like to ask ourselves, what do we really want to uplift right now? And this is the stuff I want to uplift. This is the work that I think is important to move into the world and uplift in the world and the voices that need to be heard. So I hope that you have enjoyed this journey behind the scenes.
Because this was also an experiment to do it this way, and I like it. I think we, there's plenty that we'll continue to refine it and I don't know, find some more robustness perhaps with it. But yeah, thank you for being on this journey with us. Please check out the show notes for more information and to get tickets if you happen to be to this like far in the future where the premier has passed as I have alluded to, there will be encore productions so whatever links are available, like, to bring you to our website and in the show notes, know that you can still check that out and see what other calls we have available. There might be some encore productions of this or something else that really piques your own interest.
Okay. So thank you all very much. I appreciate your time and energy and I know that like you have a lot of choice and agency around what you listen to, what kind of information you consume and so if you have chosen to share some time, energy and absorb what it is that we have to say here, I greatly appreciate that.
Alright, so take care of yourselves, take care of each other. Until next time, y'all.
Hey, listener. Thank you so much for taking the time and energy to check out another episode of Any other Anythings greatly appreciate your presence. Be sure to check out the show notes for links to find out more about this podcast, the speakers and Grey Box Collective. You can also go to greyboxcollective.com/podcasts for a full transcript of this episode. Thank you again for listening. Thank you again for being here. Greatly appreciate it. Take care of yourselves and each other.
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